If anyone ever asks you what the NYC subway is like, show them this video of a no fucks-given asshole icon on a bike blocking the doors. This is why you can’t trust a dude who wears sunglasses in the subway (and this is coming from a dude who has worn sunglasses in the subway, because when you’re hungover, that lighting is like salt on a raw b-hole) – Pajiba
Taylor Swift is either broken up with that one white guy and is pulling stunts for attention, or she’s still with that one white guy and is pulling stunts for attention – Lainey Gossip
All white Broadway gays look the same to Monet X Change – Towleroad
I need to accompany Monet X Change to the nearest Lens Crafters for another eye exam, because I mistook Julianne Hough for Julianne Moore. That’s like mistaking stale Wonder Bread for a freshly baked organic baguette – Drunken Stepfather
One of 2017’s most inevitable divorces is finally drawing to a close, and Annette Roque will no longer be the long-suffering Mrs. Matt Lauer. You would think this is great news for Matt himself, since it means he can finally drunkenly hit on women without the pesky task of struggling to twist off his wedding band first. But according UsWeekly’s source, it sounds like he would take more joy in a fake a hug with Ann Curry than give settlement money at Annette.
Looks like Tyrese Gibson finally smartened up when it comes to his beef with America’s muscled-up sweetheart Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. “Says fucking who?” – Vin Diesel
Ashley Judd was one of the first actresses to speak out and name Harvey Weinstein as an alleged creep when The New York Times and The New Yorker blew the lid off his reputation as a handsy horror. Ashley wasn’t content with just telling her story; she also sued him a few months ago. But because Harvey thinks he’s done nothing wrong, he’s trying his damndest to have Ashley’s lawsuit thrown out.
For the second time in twice as many months, Paris Hilton has taken time out of her busy schedule of ring-polishing and DJing to drag Lindsay Lohan on social media. Eh, I’m sure Lindsay appreciates the Google alert.
The Cut noticed that Paris commented on an Instagram video posted yesterday by a fan account. The video was from 2006, in which a much-fresher Lindsay tells paparazzi that Paris hit her with a drink at a party. Lindsay later walked back her story for a new set of photographers, saying Paris was her friend, and that her friend would never hurt her.
Paris could have kept her shadiness subtle by simply liking the video of Lindsay being peak-messy. Instead, she chose to comment with a laughing-till-crying emoji and the hashtag #PathologicalLiar. Hmmmm….Lindsay said something that clearly wasn’t true? Call me crazy, but I’m starting to think the black kid maybe wasn’t driving after all.
It’s really too bad that Paris and Lindsay can’t get along. They seem like a perfect match for each other. They both still love those mid-2000s thick n’ long hair extensions, they’re still spending most of their time in clubs, and they love attention. Honestly, 50 years from now, if you put them in a dilapidated home filled with cigarettes and EDM music, you’ve got a great remake of Grey Gardens.
There was a time when Thomas Markle was begging his other messy family members to keep their mouths shut about Duchess Meghan and the royal family, and was worried that the royals would get mad over him refusing to keep quiet about them. Well, just like my undies whenever I see a new hot pic of Prince Hot Ginge, Daddy Thomas has ripped that thought out of his brain and has gone full messy family member of a celebrity. Thomas thinks it’s really hilarious that he has the power to shut the royal family up. That cracking sound that Thomas hears outside of his Rosarito Beach house isn’t from the paparazzi he called checking their camera before shooting not-staged pics of him holding a tabloid with the royals on the cover and laughing at it. It’s Daniel Craig as James Bond cracking his knuckles while preparing to handle a bitch for THE QUEEN.