Birthday Sluts

December 8, 2016 / Posted by:

Sinead O’Connor (50)
AnnaSophia Robb (23)
Kate Voegele (30)
Sam Hunt (32)
Nicki Minaj (34)
Chrisette Michele (34)
Ingrid Michaelson (37)
Ian Somerhalder (38)
Matthias Schoenaerts (39)
Dominic Monaghan (40)
Nick Zinner (42)
Corey Taylor (43)
Tyler Mane (50)
Teri Hatcher (52)
Athena Lee (52)
Ann Coulter (55)
Phil Collen (59)
Deborra-Lee Furness (61)
Kim Basinger (63)
Rick Baker (66)
Nancy Meyers (67)
Gregg Allman (69)
John Rubenstein (70)
Graciela Daniele (77)
James Galway (77)
Sammy Davis, Jr. (1925-1990)
Jim Morrison (1943-1971)

Pic: Fanpix

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Night Crumbs

December 7, 2016 / Posted by:

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Suri Cruise still hasn’t handed Katie Holmes a pair of scissors and ordered her to cut off those tragic clip-on-looking ass bangs. But the good news is that the Katie in that poster is throwing a not-amused side-eye so we don’t have to – Lainey Gossip 

The look IS Christina Milian in scaffolding netting – Drunken Stepfather

Matt Damon is talking about whitewashing in Hollywood again… – Celebitchy

Remember gold digging Lauri Peterson from Real Housewives of Orange County? Well, her son is going on trial for attempted murder, which means that Bravo will ask her to be a full-time cast member again in 3..2.. – Reality Tea 

Well, since Kelly Osbourne is THEE premiere voice of the LGBTQ community, I am totally going to listen to her (no, I’m not) – Towleroad

If you’ve been looking for the perfect demure and timeless ensemble to wear to Christmas Eve mass, it’s been found on Barbara PalvinHollywood Tuna

Demi Rose = A Selena Gomez wax figure + Kylie Jenner’s body – Popoholic

The only question I have after watching the trailer for the new Transformers movie is: Does Anthony Hopkins need a check that bad? – IDLYITW

I’m pretty sure the powers-that-be at Scientology have been pulling this trick for decades – OMG Blog

The new Fifty Shits Darker trailer is out and yup, that mess is still about as sexy as a dried-up cold sore – Pajiba

RiRi claims she wasn’t trying to start a Beyhive v. Navy war. Uh huh… – Just Jared

Sia and her husband of two years are done and it may or may not have to do with him getting tired of eating a clump of her wig mask every time he tried to kiss her – Popsugar

Pic: Splash

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Hollywood Thinks We Need A Remake Of “Little Shop Of Horrors”

December 7, 2016 / Posted by:

There are many things from the 80s that I think should rebooted and brought back like Jell-O 1-2-3, Stacey Q’s career and The Charmings. But there are even more things from the 80s that I think should not be rebooted and should be left alone, and Little Shop of Horrors is at the top of that list. But since Hollywood is pretty much just a giant Audrey II who gets more powerful by eating and killing what you love most, they’re planning to remake Little Shop of Horrors.

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Johnny Depp Is Hollywood’s Most Overpaid Actor

December 7, 2016 / Posted by:

The shady paycheck-analyzing bitches at Forbes have released their annual “Actors with too many undeserved dollars in their wallet” list (aka Hollywood’s Most Overpaid Actors of 2016). For the second year in a row, Johnny Depp has topped the list.

Forbes figured out the most overpaid actors like this:

Our rundown of Hollywood’s Most Overpaid Actors looked at the last three films each actor starred in before June 2016, save animated films, movies where the actor appeared in an insignificant role, or movies that were released on fewer than 2,000 screens.We then deducted the estimated production budget from the global box office for each film according to Box Office Mojo to come up with a limited definition of each movie’s operating income. We took the total operating income from the star’s three most recent significant films then divided by the star’s estimated pay for those films to come up with a final return on investment number.

Math isn’t my strongest brain function, so I’m taking Forbes’ word for it.

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Jocelyn Wildenstein Really Commits To The Whole Cat Thing

December 7, 2016 / Posted by:

PAGING JACKSON GALAXY! PAGING JACKSON GALAXY! Your services are needed at Trump World Tower in Manhattan and not because the tortured and mangy cat on Donald Trump’s head needs rescuing. There’s a rabid pussy on the loose there. Or was, anyway.

Page Six reports that the socialite millionairess who spent millions of dollars to purposefully look like Simba in glamour drag was trapped in a net by animal control this morning and was sedated before she was shipped off to cat jail. No, but 15-year-old (in cat yearsJocelyn Wildenstein was reportedly arrested on feliney felony assault charges for allegedly scratching the face of her 49-year-old man Lloyd Klein during a violent fight in their Trump World Tower apartment at around 1:30 this morning. Sources say that Jocelyn also slashed Lloyd’s chest with scissors, which caused him to bleed.

Lloyd apparently had to shove Jocelyn into a closet to keep her from attacking him again. I’m sure that before he did that, he tried to distract her rabid ass with a laser pointer or paralyze her by tying a sock around her waist.

Jocelyn is way too damn old to be going wild like that. All the cats I know who are that old are always tired and if they wanted to hurt you, they’d just shank you with their eyes or piss on your shoes. I take back what I said in the headline about Jocelyn being committed to the cat thing. If she was really committed to acting like a cat her age, she wouldn’t be attacking Lloyd. She’d be too busy trying to clean her ass before giving up and taking her 99th nap of the day.

And if Jocelyn was Anna Faris and Chris Pratt’s cat, she’d be on her way to a new home right now.

Pic: Splash

 

Amy Schumer Slaps Back At Everyone Who Thinks She’s Too Big To Play Barbie

December 7, 2016 / Posted by:

Last week it was announced that Amy Schumer is playing Barbie in Sony’s live-action Barbie movie, which was confusing to some people for a number of reasons, like why Sony was making a movie about Barbie over the much more glamorous fashion doll Tuesday Taylor (that’s confusing logic to me, at least). As Michael already pointed out, Barbie’s body is shaped like a Kardashian’s after a buggy photo-slimming app, and Amy Schumer’s body is shaped like a persons, which I’m sure made some people initially wonder how that was going to work. It was explained that Amy was going to play some sort of unconventional outcast Barbie. That made more sense. It didn’t matter to some people though, and they let it be known on Twitter that Amy doesn’t have the body to be playing any kind of Barbie. Well, Amy has words for those people.

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