Night Crumbs

December 11, 2017 / Posted by:

Some think that Zac Efron and his Greatest Showman co-star Rebecca Ferguson are a thing based on some shit he’s posted on Twitter and Instagram. Yes, Zac and Rebecca are totally boning on each other, and this isn’t just a stunt to sell their movie. Nice try, marketing people, but a PR relationship between Zac and Becky isn’t going to sell more tickets. But you know what will? A PR relationship between Zac and his other co-star Hugh Jackman, and a leaked sex tape of them playing the movie’s songs on each other’s skin flute. That will do it!   – Lainey Gossip

If Tootsie wasn’t ruined for you by the first round of Dustin Hoffman accusations, this may do it – Celebitchy

Backdoor Farrah is serving Muppet lot lizard on a budget – Reality Tea

Merry Titsmas from Chestica Simpson! – Drunken Stepfather

The couple whose bare nalgas got them thrown into a Thai jail are on their way home to the U.S. I bet they’ve totally learned their lesson now (cut to a year from now when they get thrown into a North Korea labor camp for mooning a Kim Jong-il statute in Pyongyang – Towleroad

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Jessica Chastain Was Told To Hush Up About The Harvey Weinstein Situation

December 11, 2017 / Posted by:

A month before Bryan Singer was finally dragged out of the open sewer of accused creeps, Jessica Chastain spoke up on Twitter to remind everyone about the numerous accusations that have been made against him. Before that, she used Twitter to explain she was very well aware of the rumors of Harvey Weinstein’s alleged behavior, and called BS on everyone who said they they had no idea. Some gave it up for Jessica for calling a creep out, but not everyone in her life is on board with that.

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Adriana Lima Is NOT Quitting Victoria’s Secret

December 11, 2017 / Posted by:

Angel wings were puckered in anxiety over the weekend when Adriana Lima made an Instagram post that sounded like she was ditching her Victoria’s Secret gig, but word on the street is that is not the case and she’ll rock a push-up bra and wings even if she needs a walker to get down the runway.

Adriana said she wouldn’t take her clothes off for an empty cause, but I guess “empty cause” is just Portuguese for “no money” since the Brazilian beauty is now said to be sticking to her earlier words of wanting to strut for a few more years. TMZ reports the Insta post was only in reference to the tacky video shoot that Adriana was offered. Her Victoria’s Secret work is safe. That must come as a relief to booking agents since the talent hasn’t exactly been sticking around!

She told People during the most recent VS fashion show that she planned on making it to at least 20 of the annual shows (she’s currently at 18) but “maybe more.” Make it maybe more, Adriana!!! With Gisele Bundchen long in the rearview mirror, this is your time to rake in that coin. Sashaying down the VS catwalk in a Depends is way more respectable than peddling a home line like Kathy Ireland’s at Ashley Furniture!

Pic: Wenn.com

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Open Post: Hosted By The Skillful Pussy Who Can Open His Own Treats Drawer 

December 11, 2017 / Posted by:

During the past two weeks alone, we’ve posted approximately 9,102,983 animal videos (and 98% of them were posted by me), because I feel that to keep things balanced, we need to post a cute animal video for every two eyeball-burning rape/assault posts we publish, and as you know, we’ve been publishing a lot of those lately. So here’s our 9,102,984th animal video of the past two weeks, and it stars a genius tuxedo cat from Brazil named Antonio who lets his human know when he wants a treat by opening up his treat drawer.

Antonio’s  human recorded him opening up the drawer, and when she closes it, he opens it back up. Antonio must’ve not been raised by an abuelita, because if I opened up a drawer after my abuelita closed it, she’d tell me to open up her closet and pick out which belt I’d like her to beat me with for disobeying her! And that table looks like it’s next to a bed. If Antonio opened up a drawer in my bedside table, he’d close it real fast after getting hit with the disappointing and sad sight of a dusty, unopened bottle of lube, 12-year-old condoms and a copy of Call Me By Your Name, which I’ve been trying to read since 2009.

And since Antonio is a cat and has potent evil running through his veins, I’m sure that the next time his human puts her hand in the drawer to close it, he’ll shut it on her fingers real fast. And as she’s crying in pain, he’ll snatch the treats and run off. Skittles and all!

Pic: YouTube

 

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