Netflix released the first look at what they say is Henry Cavill in their series based on The Witcher books. Yes, I can hear all of you screaming, “I want to toss that salad,” while looking at Henry’s glorious butt chin. But I’m trying to ignore that, because I’m too busy wondering if Netflix made a major mistake. Are they sure that’s Henry in The Witcher, and not Henry in a Legolas biopic, or better yet a clip of Henry in The Purple Shampoo Diaries: The Story Of The Nelson Twins? – Lainey Gossip
I don’t know whether to love or hate Dorit Kemsley dressing like a Trashy Lingerie version of Choupette Lagerfeld – Reality Tea
My international nightmare of Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Meghan’s Let’s Maliciously Rub Our Love In Your Ugly Faces Tour (aka their tour through the land Down Under) is finally over – Celebitchy
Since Netflix has to release at least 1,356,985 new things a week, they may as well release a documentary about Jehovah’s Sexiest Witness. They’re doing just that and Ava DuVernay is working on it – Pajiba
A proud slut: Jake Shears is! – Towleroad
Is Lily-Rose Depp supposed to be 80s era Barbra Streisand in Dynasty or Fatal Attraction era Glenn Close in Dynasty? – Popoholic
Vanna White, who has the greatest job in the world, just extended that greatest job in the world until 2022 – SOW
Here’s Jennifer Lopez in nothing but a green sequined curtain from a community theater production of The Wizard of Oz, because why not? – Just Jared
Plead The Fifth is a game that Andy Cohen regularly plays with his guests on Watch What Happens Live. I love the game, because it sometimes brings out a juicy nugget (see: Pink talking about the time that Xtina tried to fight her in a club), and other times it causes Andy’s guests to hit him with an icy load of “fuck off with that shit” when he asks them a question they don’t like. Debra fell under the second category last night, and it had me singing (in the tune of the theme from her movie An Officer and a Gentlemen): ♪ hate lift us up ♪ where we beeeeeeelong ♪
Imagine for a moment being Justin Timberlake. Of course there are some terrifying aspects of this scenario; you’re forever going to remind people of Top Ramen, Prince’s ghost will hate you for eternity, and you’ll have Wonder Wheel on your IMDB page forever. But the obvious advantage is that nobody will ever say “no” to you. Wanna rip Janet Jackson’s shirt off in front a worldwide audience? Sure! Want to write pop album but disguise it as a country album? Go ahead! Want to write a book called Hindsight: And All The Things I Can’t See In Front Of Me? Absolutely, Justin! That sounds like a great idea!
While the most horrific aspect of Harvey Weinstein’s saga was how he allegedly assaulted and harassed many, many women, there was also the bit about how he was the unofficial leader of the Marchesa Mafia. His soon-to-be ex-wife Georgina Chapman runs the brand, and Harvey would reportedly make the actresses in his movies wear Marchesa on the red carpet. Just ask Felicity Huffman! Now that Harvey is facing charges, women have been rallying around Georgina’s attempt to salvage a career since she claims she never suspected Harvey was such a pervy asshole. Scarlett Johansson worked Marchesa to this year’s Met Gala, and now Priyanka Chopra is having a go at it.
I could not have guessed that when Jennifer Garner finally signed her name on her divorce papers from Ben Affleck, that it would only be a matter of time before I read the headline: “Jennifer Garner dating tech CEO.” I was picturing something more Hallmark channel wholesome, like Jennifer hooking up with a dog walker or an ice cream parlor owner. But she picked a tech CEO, and we’ve got an update on things.
Antoni Porowski is newly single (or is he?) in some throwback tighty whities! Queer Eye’s food and wine guy isn’t really known for his food or wine advice as much as he is for baring nip and giving me a reason to hide my phone when I’m scrolling through Instagram on the subway ride home. Because Halloween is the one day out of the year for THOTs to get away with their, uh, THOTtiness (?), Netflix decided to have Antoni play Patrick Bateman from American Psycho to show he’s TOTALLY self-aware, you mean people of the Internet!
HuffPo notes the parallels of how Antoni might be an American Psycho given the exhaustive beauty and fitness regimen Patrick adheres to in the book and movie and what Antoni must for each of his daily uploads to social media. Alas, he has to show he’s totally in on the joke, so he squawks at all of us who said “Da FUQ is that guacamole recipe?” by claiming Greek yogurt is also used in his moisturizer. In the spirit of Halloween, Antoni also warns us:
“I don’t care whether they like what I cook or not. They’ll eat it if they know what’s good for them!”
Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do, Antoni? Pelt us with one of your avocados?!