Archives: February 2019

Open Post: Hosted By The Golden Girls Cruise!

February 16, 2019 / Posted by:

Cruises are (sometimes literally) a crapshoot. There’s a chance that you’ll have a tremendous time boozing, shopping, laying around in the sun, and hopefully getting laid by that hot cabin boy. On the flipside, you might get a norovirus along with 474 of your fellow passengers or disappear forever. But now there is absolutely no need for a coin flip by fate as to how your cruise is going to go. Because there’s a Golden Girls-themed one which will be the bestest cruise in history! Book me now!

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Alfonso Ribeiro’s “Carlton Dance” Copyright Has Been Denied, But He’s Still Suing Fortnite

February 16, 2019 / Posted by:

Today is a sad day for justice, and I’m not talking about “Orange Justice” (that is a Fortnite joke for those of you who try to stay out of such matters). I’m talking about the American legal system once again FAILING one of it’s citizens in another crack in the clear and obvious fault in a system that seeks to continually destroy the oppressed. Today, Alfonso Ribeiro is the victim of this system, because the The U.S. Copyright Office have stamped “DENIED” on his request to copyright his totally original pillar stone of modern society, the “Carlton Dance.”  Continue reading

The Suspects In Jussie Smollet’s Attack Have Been Released With No Charges Filed

February 16, 2019 / Posted by:

In a case that is ascending to an Olivia Pope-level of twisty, People reports that the two brothers who were arrested on suspicion of attacking  Jussie Smollet on January 29 have been released without being charged with anything and are no longer suspects…. and are now free to continue to be the Nigerian version of Right Said Fred on Instagram.

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Jennifer Aniston And Courteney Cox’s Plane Had To Make An Emergency Landing

February 16, 2019 / Posted by:

Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox and some of their friends were on the way to, where else, Cabo San Lucas (does she have some kind of deal with the tourism board?) to keep her 50th birthday celebrations going. But things got off to a messy start hen the private plane they were flying on had to make an emergency landing. They blamed it on some sort of mechanical issue but you know it was because Chelsea Handler found out there was only one handle of vodka aboard for the 2.5 hour flight and that won’t do. Aniston was probably just settling into low-key convo about eye fillers when she probably heard “Turn this boat, around, Aniston, cuz’ I’ve already gone through that bullshit size bottle of Absolut in the bar AND the bottle in my carry-on!” from the hag in back.

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