Just two days ago, everyone reported 46-year-old recent rehab graduate Ben Affleck and his 22-year-old Playboy model girlfriend Shauna Sexton broke up after about two months. Well, Shauna might be harder to shake than The Nanny, because she doesn’t think she’s Ben’s ex-girlfriend just yet.
Ben and Shauna had just returned from a trip to Montana, and everything seemed a-ok in their world. Then a day later, a source spoke to People, saying they’d broken up, and that Ben was focusing on his sobriety, his family, and his next project. Shauna tells DailyMailTV that it’s not true:
“I know [there are lots of unnamed insiders] – and they just make shit up, just like this. Don’t believe everything you read.”
“It was casual to begin with, and wasn’t the right move. It was newish. They were really only sort of seeing each other for about four weeks. He broke it off. It was more about realizing [a casual relationship] wasn’t the right thing for him.”
Another source tells People that the split was the relationship equivalent of a casual, apathetic shrug, because Ben and Shauna weren’t much of anything in the first place. So what does this bring us to now, two for broken up and one for still together? Shauna might want to come up with a different strategy for convincing us she’s still with Ben, because right away, she’s already outnumbered 2-to-1. She needs hard proof, like another Jack In The Box run with Ben. We’ll pretty much know for sure what’s up if “Ben” looks suspiciously like a promotional movie theater carboard cutout of Batman.
The ink may still be drying, but Jennifer Garner is officially single and ready to mingle her way to a relationship that maybe requires just a teeny less amount of time being Mama Bear like she was with Ben Affleck as of late. Who can blame her. With all that cash back and travel points she gets from Capital One, she’d be the best girlfriend to have!
True love is just fleeting, I guess…or maybe Shauna Sexton didn’t care for Big Sky Country. Either way, most people weren’t all that surprised when Ben Affleck was seen out with Shauna, a 22-year-old Playboy model. People did get a little surprised when it seemed like they were still a thing after he went to rehab and was still meeting up with her. Most people thought it wasn’t exactly the picture of clean living and trying to better one’s life while canoodling with a non-sober trick who isn’t old enough to remember when Good Will Hunting was in theaters. Ben, freshly out of rehab, must finally have agreed with that sentiment, and sources are saying those two are no longer a thing.
I’ve never completed a 40-day stint in rehab and officially gotten divorced in the same month, so I don’t know how I would celebrate such a milestone. If I was Ben Affleck, I might roll up to Jack In The Box with balloons and let the employees know that for the rest of the day, all drive-thru orders were on me. But Ben Affleck had other plans. Shauna Sexton and Ben are still going strong and spent the weekend in Montana.
No, we swear it this time. It’s real. For heaven’s sake, it’s in People! Having to drive Ben Affleck to rehab again (and empty her car of all of his Jack in the Box wrappers) must have pushed Jennifer Garner to zoom over to her lawyer’s office and scream, “I WANT IT TO READ ‘EX-WIFE JENNIFER GARNER’ NOW!!!”, at the startled receptionist in the lobby. The couple have announced that they’ve finalized their divorce after three years of separation. *sad music*
We’re all rooting the third time’s a charm. Ben Affleck has had a rough few months, and that’s not just because I’ve been referencing Gigli on here. After splitting up with Lindsay Shookus this summer, canoodling with a Playboy model, Ben went back to rehab for the third time in his life after his soon-to-be-ex-wife Jennifer Garner staged an intervention. Ben stayed in rehab a little while longer, even though he left to work out his newly swole body and work out his newly swole body on his Playboy model girlfriend, and now he’s out.
Ben issued this statement on his Instagram yesterday about completing 40 days in rehab:
Ben entered the center on August 22 and was only allowed to leave for business meetings and at-home workouts. He was in rehab back in 2001 and again in 2017, but someone close to him claims this time seemed different, telling People.
“Ben seems to take this rehab visit more seriously. This time is different. He doesn’t want his kids to have to go through this again. Ben is really trying very hard to get better.”
Ben admits in his statement that fighting addiction is a lifelong struggle and that one is never truly cured. He says he’ll continue to fight with the help of those around him, which I imagine means Matt Damon told him he’ll bring out his Brett Kavanaugh at Level 15 if his ass so much as looks at a bottle of vodka.