Category: Hot Slut of the Day

Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 21, 2019 / Posted by:

The dog who is putting every tourist attraction in the world out of business!

According to Travel + Leisure, the top 5 most popular tourist attractions last year were:

5. The Eiffel Tower in Paris
4. The Louvre in Paris
3. The Statue of Liberty in NYC
2. The Vatican
1. The Colosseum in Rome

Well, all of those attractions had a good run, but they can now be bulldozed down to make way for luxury condos, because in 2019, the most visited tourist attraction will be The Sprawling Dog in Abkhazia!

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 20, 2019 / Posted by:

The dick chili!

Hi, yes, can you please send an ambulance, because my asshole is on fire after I kind of sort accidentally fell onto a dick-shaped chili lubed-up asshole first” is probably something a 911 operator will hear from me in the near future. I know, what a stupid joke. Like I’ve got any feeling down there.

I suddenly have a green thumb and no, it’s not from me fingering the Jolly Green Giant (I wish!). It’s from me wanting to plant the chili that’s shaped like a short uncut dick. If you’re a size queen who also hates spicy foods, move on, because this HSOTD ain’t for you.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 19, 2019 / Posted by:

The Dragon Queen from Golden Girl and the Guardians of the Gemstone!

Tonight is the final episode of that barely-watched show Game of Thrones after HBO canceled it due to record low ratings, zero social media engagement, and no critical acclaim. You’re probably even HUH-ing in the face over the name “Game of Thrones” and thought it was a Drag Race spin-off game show where the Queens lip-synch while playing a game of musical chairs around thrones.

But seriously, zillions of you nerds will have your eyelids duct taped to your foreheads tonight so you won’t miss one moment including cameo appearances by rogue coffee cups and extra hands. And while all of you watch to see if that dragon chick with the unlocked Matrix Twins wig wins the Showcase Showdown in Game of Thrones (thus winning a prize package including an all-expenses paid trip to Bermuda, a Ford Focus, and the throne), I’ll be thinking of the true DRAGON QUEEN!

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 18, 2019 / Posted by:

Ayla Kirstine, the horse woman of Norway!

Six years ago, the eyes of the internet were dusted with shards of glitter when we all watched the Prancercise unicorn, Joanna Rohrback, prance like an uppity gay stallion prancing past their haters. And today, we get knocked over by another equine wonder, but this one is all athletic and shit.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 17, 2019 / Posted by:

The killdeer bird, who has caused CHAOS!!!! in New Jersey by claiming an entire field at a park! 

Last month, I paid tribute to the attention whore flamingo in Mallorca, Spain who caused planes to press pause when it crashed the tarmac and graced that drab airport with its feathery pink fabulousness. And today, I’m paying tribute to another bird who let us humans know that while we may eat them in droves, they still have the power to fuck our shit up (and I’m not talking about giving us salmonella).

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Hot Sluts Of The Day!

May 16, 2019 / Posted by:

The bears (not pictured because they are masters of their craft) who bribed a guard dog into letting them onto his human’s property!

In this sequel to Goldilocks, Goldilocks is a male golden mastiff/hound/Beagle mix in Canada whose ONE JOB is to guard his human’s house from bears and failed. Goldilocks 2: The Bears’ REVENGE!!!!!

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