Category: Hot Slut of the Day

Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 9, 2018 / Posted by:

Angel Face Barbie!

“Hmm… it’s weird that her name is Angel Face Barbie yet she doesn’t have the face of BETTY WHITE” is what anybody with a brain that is at least working at 0.0001% would definitely say when looking at that Barbie. But Mattel’s idea of an angel face was a Barbie with gorgeously tattooed mahogany brows, thick Sharpie eyeliner, and an outfit that Molly Ringwald’s Pretty In Pink character would easily dump Blane for. Angel Face Barbie came out around 1982-ish, but looked like she was made up of leftover parts from 70s Barbies. There were touches of the 80s on her, though, like how you could decorate her face with a palette of Bonne Bell gorgeousness. You could touch her cheeks with rouge and slather some blue powder glamour onto her eyelids as your creepy dad watched….

The way that dad has to supervise… and watch over them… It’s as if he’s really a Ken Doll who made a deal with the devil to become a human and he doesn’t want that Angel Face Barbie to expose him so he’s staying close to make sure she doesn’t say shit. Yeah, that must be it. They did a lot of drugs in the early-80s, okay?

Pic: Puckmikito

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 8, 2018 / Posted by:

The Ding Dong Ditch Moose!

When I read a headline about a moose ding dong ditching a family, I wondered why it was news, because I’m guessing that on every weekend night, a group of drunken teen meese (yes, that is the plural for moose and don’t tell me otherwise) pull a ding dong ditch prank in Canada. But surprisingly enough, this didn’t happen in Canada. It happened in Alaska. And usually when you hear about a grunting beast who can’t speak English words fucking with people in Alaska, you think, “Oh those Palins are at it again.” But this grunting beast is an adorable, tolerable one, and a much better citizen of Alaska than those Palins.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 7, 2018 / Posted by:

Pink Panther Flakes!

Nowadays if I want to eat a bowl full of pink flakes, I gotta douse some Corn Flakes with Pepto-Bismol. But the people of the early-70s were lucky, because when they wanted to eat a bowl full of pink flakes, they just had to stroll down the cereal aisle at the grocery store.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 6, 2018 / Posted by:

The greatest goalkeeper of all-time! 

Someone wake Google the hell up, because when I Google “the greatest living football goalkeeper,” random names of nobodies like Gianluigi Buffon and Iker Casillas come up. Who are those stranger dudes? Maybe they WERE the greatest living goalkeeper, but that title now belongs to the stray dog who crashed a match in¬†Argentina and showed the people his effortless soccer skills.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 5, 2018 / Posted by:

The Gypsy Rose Lee of the Skies!

Since at least November 2017, a Southwest flight attendant has been turning that bitch into SouthWET airlines with the panty cream-inducing burlesque performance he oozes out while giving the pre-flight safety instructions to passengers. The telling of the safety instructions is usually the part of a flight when many passengers practice their “go to sleep with eyes open” skills or scan the riveting articles in the plane magazine, but passengers on a Southwest flight from Chicago to Omaha definitely perked up and reached for the dollar bills in their wallets when a flight attendant gave them some “And if you’re real good, I’ll make you feel good” hotness.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 4, 2018 / Posted by:

It was British writer W.E. Hickerson who is credited for coining this phrase:

If at first you don’t succeed,
Try, try, try again

He must’ve been a bottom with IBS (I can relate). But while the mind of W.E. Hickerson came up with that saying, today’s HSOTD, this mouse, has brought it to life like never before. (Well, I shouldn’t say like “never before,” because any bottom with IBS who has finally conquered butt sex with a big one, has brought that saying to life like never before.) HuffPo says that in this footage from a wildlife cam, which was recorded last month, the little mouse who could tried to jump onto a bird feeder. The mouse fails the first time… and the second… and the third… and the fourth…. That mouse keeps trying for more than five hours. I know that a mouse doesn’t have much to do but try to get food, but five hours?!? This video is going to make me check my #humanprivilege when I’m about to bitch about waiting for 5 minutes to get my burrito bowl at Chipotle. It took a zillion times and five hours, but the mouse finally succeeded, and I’m sure that bird seed tasted like the jizz balls of the angels. Sweet success!

This video is pretty much me trying to beat a level on any video game (since I’m shit at video games):

And some have said that this video is like life, but not really. If that video was like life, it would’ve taken the mouse 10 hours to get on the bird feeder, and when it finally did and was just about to taste its reward, a hawk flies by and snatches it up. That is the story of life.

Pic: digg

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